Here’s a story I wrote last year for a magazine article that didn’t get accepted. I like this story for a comparison of growing years. Last year I had an excess of tomatoes, but with this year’s epic rains I’ve had a meager crop. For those of you who sometimes have a bumper crop or just want a humorous look at what to do with too much produce, read on.
Veggie gardeners know that each year is different when it comes to crop yields. Even the venerable zucchini can vary significantly in production. Some years zucs drown us in the green monsters and other years succumb to the stem borers yielding almost nothing. This excess is just part of the fun of gardening.
The question often arises what to do with a bumper crop of tomatoes? Garrison Keillor once proposed on his radio show, A Prairie Home Companion, that in the case of too much zucchini one can just put the excess in a bag and covertly hang the bag on an unsuspecting home owner’s mailbox. I have never had that much zucchini. And with my handy veggie noodling machine turning the zucs into tasty noodles, or making a Thai green chili heavy in zucs, or just sautéing zucs and mushrooms seems to use up any excess.
Time To Get Creative.
However, when the tomato gods shine on my little backyard plot and give me loads of precious heirloom Cherokee Purple, Brandywine, Marmonde, Mr. Stripey, or Juliets I merely get out the canning apparatus and cook up a couple dozen jars worth of salsa, diced tomatoes, or spaghetti sauce for the winter and beyond. This method takes care of any excess large tomatoes.
A nice day’s crop of sungolds, Julliets, and vine tomatoes
But what to do with all of these sweet and delicious Sungold tomatoes I’m getting this year? They don’t seem to be cut out for sauces due to their sweetness. Sungolds don’t come up in any dessert recipes I have and they seem too sweet to cook in most Italian based pasta dishes. I’ve taken to eating them with a side of fresh sliced cucumbers (another big yielder this year) for breakfast, lunch, or dinner to use them up. Sungolds are also delicious cut in half then placed on a toasted baguette brushed with olive oil, and set under the oven broiler with a slice of mozzarella cheese. One can only eat so many of these cheesy toasts.
So the Sungolds pile up. My neighbors seem to be tiring of them already and I probably have four more weeks of production from just two Sungold plants. The two plants seem to be more like a towering bush than a tomato plant as they near the six-foot tall mark. Pretty soon my Mr. Stripey, Brandywine, and other miscellaneous tomatoes will be in their full glory producing pounds of big juicy orbs of goodness. The poor Sungolds will still be cranking out dozens of baby toms each day but will take a back seat to the big boys. What a juicy dilemma.
How Are Too Many?
I’m not desperate enough to set up a tomato stand out in my front yard that borders a busy suburban road; but I’ll need to find a home for these precious little yellow tomatoes soon, as wasting them is not an option. I used to have a German Shepherd who would easily eat 8-10 Sungolds per day, but our new pup won’t oblige. When I toss a tomato her way during picking time she just bites them and leaves them; so much for man’s best friend helping out.
Brad’s Atomic tomatoes.
The sungolds might make good cat toys for our two kittens and our Maine Coon. Except sungolds aren’t durable enough and would stain the carpet when squished. Sungolds aren’t tough enough for slingshot ammo but if someone could invent a paintball gun that shoots Sungolds that might be the ticket. You could get your recreation and eat it too! Imagine paintball facilities catering to those who want a nearly harmless new way to shoot at each other. The chance to hit your opponent repeatedly until they look like a walking tomato sauce might have considerable appeal? Now that would be fun! Or I could shoot at the bunnies and squirrels in my garden with a non-lethal Sungold bullet!
Door-To-Door Gifting.
If all else fails, I could try a neighborhood further away from home to gift the Sungolds. I’d go door-to-door until the excess crop is off-loaded on folks that might appreciate such produce. Maybe next year I’ll only plant one Sungold? Gardening being what it is that would probably be the year the hornworms eat my Sungold down to the nubs while I’m out of town for two days.
Sungolds in August 2018
As hard as it is to imagine not having Sungold plants, it’s harder to imagine having to buy them at the farmer’s market. I guess I’ll just grin and bear it for now and be happy for the bumper crop. And maybe I’ll start designing a paintball gun that can fire Sungolds just in case.
As it turned out I did plant only one sungolds this year and didn’t have too many!
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2018 Kurt Jacobson
Leave a Reply